Life is hard. I know logically I have nothing to complain about. I have a loving, healthy family. I have a roof over my head in a safe neighborhood and something to eat and wear every day. I have a job that is letting me knock out my debt and that pays for vacations and other memory-making events. Heck, I got promoted in only a 2 year time span. So maybe this is a first world problem or a heart problem, as my pastor would say, but I’m so exhausted. I am totally burned out with work. I want recovery so much for my clients, but the barriers in their life are huge. I know it’s got to be hard to change lifelong patterns of unhelpful behavior. We’ve all done that to some extent and it’s rough! For them in their various difficult situations it’s got to be even harder. It’s not that I don’t have empathy for them, it’s that my empathy levels are drained. It’s as if my energy is literally being siphoned from me from 8-5:30 every day. That on top of this pending doom (2 of our 3 staff are leaving for a full week twice in the next two months- yes that 1 person left is me; Josh is also out of here for a week at the end of September), and sleepless nights is just…it’s a lot. I’ve basically asked most non client people in my life to stop telling me about their problems. Isn’t that terrible? I care, it’s just that I can’t care fully. I’ve got to have something to give, and the well has run dry.
Eli’s been getting up about 7 times a night. I guess there’s a typical sleep regression between 7-8 months. Let’s hope this phase moves along. He’s been harder to put to sleep and seems miserable sometimes. He does this whine thing that breaks your heart. Right now I’m up because he was whining, but he had fallen asleep before I even got to his room. Our precious baby! How I want to jump in there and take his pain on for him.
So anyways- I’ve tried a few things to get my energy back. Practicing gratitude, walking, reading, having alone time, crafting, taking photos, learning new editing techniques. It’s really just putting a dent in the problem. We went away last weekend and it was amazing. I hadn’t felt like myself is so long and it was eye opening. But then, maybe that’s why this week it was extra difficult. If you have suggestions please let me know! At this point I’m trying to save more and knock out that debt faster so that I can take a break. My friend and I were talking about how we both graduated in 2010 and are on on 3rd and 4th job, with each job trying to find less stress and more flexibility. How I want to work for myself! That transition will take some time and actually more work (temporarily), but how lovely would that be? I still want to make a difference in the world, but maybe in a different way, at least for a while.
Enough with my grumbling- here is Eli’s weekly check in
What we bought: More up&up diapers. I love these things! Such a good suggestion.
Useless purchases: While I’m thinking about diapers- we honestly have about 2 halves of boxes that are unused because Eli grew out of that size before we needed all of them. I hate that, because you can’t return them and it’s kind of weird to give away loose diapers to people. Someone have a baby so I can make you a diaper cake.
Best moment: I don’t want to be that person who is like “my baby walked at 4 months and then made me a sandwich”, but I really think Eli is saying “mama.” He’s not just babbling like a mad mad. Josh was feeding him fruit in the dining room and I went to the laundry room and he cried out “MAMA!” then smiled when I rounded the corner. I’m not officially calling it yet because there’s only been 2-3 more occasions where I was like, yep, that was it!
Eli: Week 34
I love both of my parents so much I make them pass me back and forth so I can see both of them. Like, if mom is holding me I’ll laugh and giggle while reaching for dad. But when dad finally gets me, I immediately want mom. They’re pretty much the best. I’m really interested in the trash. Something good has got to be in there, they just don’t want me to have it! I finally got me a big boy car seat. I like that it boosts me high enough that I can see what’s going on outside of the windows! I like to fake cough, swing on the porch, and go for walks. The heat doesn’t bother me at all.
Have a great weekend!
-Shantel
Eli’s been getting up about 7 times a night. I guess there’s a typical sleep regression between 7-8 months. Let’s hope this phase moves along. He’s been harder to put to sleep and seems miserable sometimes. He does this whine thing that breaks your heart. Right now I’m up because he was whining, but he had fallen asleep before I even got to his room. Our precious baby! How I want to jump in there and take his pain on for him.
So anyways- I’ve tried a few things to get my energy back. Practicing gratitude, walking, reading, having alone time, crafting, taking photos, learning new editing techniques. It’s really just putting a dent in the problem. We went away last weekend and it was amazing. I hadn’t felt like myself is so long and it was eye opening. But then, maybe that’s why this week it was extra difficult. If you have suggestions please let me know! At this point I’m trying to save more and knock out that debt faster so that I can take a break. My friend and I were talking about how we both graduated in 2010 and are on on 3rd and 4th job, with each job trying to find less stress and more flexibility. How I want to work for myself! That transition will take some time and actually more work (temporarily), but how lovely would that be? I still want to make a difference in the world, but maybe in a different way, at least for a while.
Enough with my grumbling- here is Eli’s weekly check in
What we bought: More up&up diapers. I love these things! Such a good suggestion.
Useless purchases: While I’m thinking about diapers- we honestly have about 2 halves of boxes that are unused because Eli grew out of that size before we needed all of them. I hate that, because you can’t return them and it’s kind of weird to give away loose diapers to people. Someone have a baby so I can make you a diaper cake.
Best moment: I don’t want to be that person who is like “my baby walked at 4 months and then made me a sandwich”, but I really think Eli is saying “mama.” He’s not just babbling like a mad mad. Josh was feeding him fruit in the dining room and I went to the laundry room and he cried out “MAMA!” then smiled when I rounded the corner. I’m not officially calling it yet because there’s only been 2-3 more occasions where I was like, yep, that was it!
Eli: Week 34
I love both of my parents so much I make them pass me back and forth so I can see both of them. Like, if mom is holding me I’ll laugh and giggle while reaching for dad. But when dad finally gets me, I immediately want mom. They’re pretty much the best. I’m really interested in the trash. Something good has got to be in there, they just don’t want me to have it! I finally got me a big boy car seat. I like that it boosts me high enough that I can see what’s going on outside of the windows! I like to fake cough, swing on the porch, and go for walks. The heat doesn’t bother me at all.
Have a great weekend!
-Shantel
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