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If at first you don’t succeed

Ah, as I write this my baby boy is napping in his swing. We made it less than 5 minutes in his crib, but we keep on trying. He’s about too big for his bassinet now, so time is of the essence. I don’t know what’s worse? Having an extremely tired (eh hem- grumpy) baby that won’t sleep in his crib or having a well-rested baby who only sleeps when he’s right next to you or being rocked in his swing. I seriously tried to put him in his crib about 5 times yesterday and it always ended with Eli crying intensely and me rocking him back to sleep. Needless to say each time it took longer and longer for him to get back to sleep. Official sleep time? 11:30pm- Midnight (not in his crib, mind you). To put that in perspective- he usually goes to bed between 8:30-9. It would be nice to have him in his room before I go back to work.

Speaking of which, I heard back from the time away from work center and my leave has been approved. Make that one less stress. After calling around and finding out that the waiting list for ideal locations would put Eli in daycare by…drumroll…August, Josh and I decided to hire a nanny for a maximum of 4 weeks. If Eli isn’t in daycare by the end of 2 weeks I’m putting in my notice and will finish out two weeks at work. I really want to do something at least part-time, but financially this actually makes more sense right now. Tennessee gives you the right to take 16 weeks for ‘baby bonding’, which is awesome, but, I figure I can stay home for the next month without getting paid at all and then potentially be in the same position or, I can make a few bucks in the next month and cut my losses. Luckily a friend of ours offered to watch the babe while I finish out my month. I have such a sense of peace right now. He will be cared for by someone I know will treat him well and actually enrich his life.

By the way, I had so many ridiculous applications for the position. If you use shorthand (“message me w any questions”), have a profile picture of a selfie in your car (let’s just hope she was at a stoplight?) or ask me to move you here from Montana in order to live in my house…for a temporary position…then you’re not the man for the job. This week by week deal was like nails on a chalkboard for me. Is my type A is showing? Things kept coming up making it harder for me to return to work and now it’s all coming together. I was lying in bed last night with Josh saying “Oh now I can volunteer at the nursing home or put up an Etsy store, or get certified to plan weddings, or coach cheerleading, or teach at a local community college or teach online, or…”. I just felt this sense of freedom to say goodbye to my workplace. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the environment and the people, but I don’t want to miss Eli’s first steps or first words. I want to go see my family more often without apologizing. I don’t want to have 3 waking hours with my baby before he’s out.

In other news, I finally was cleared to exercise so I’ve been doing that. I was laughing with my friend talking about how insanely out of shape I am. I figured, hey, rocking and holding a ginormous baby all day had to be toning something. I was wrong. Everything is sore. I’m halfway surprised my fingers aren’t sore it’s that out of control.

What we bought: More gas medicine! Poor baby boy he has it so bad every day. He’s 7 weeks old and has gone thru an entire bottle. Must discuss with the pediatrician next week.
Best moment: I still love Eli’s sleep giggles. They are so cute and totally improves my exhausted self’s mood.
How my life has changed: I am much more comfortable in my own skin- and I don’t mean just physically. I feel like it’s okay to put my ideas out into the world without stressing about whether or not people will like me or if they’ll think I’m a fool. Having a baby has brought out some great characteristics in  myself. I have loads more patience. I’m more persistent and less vain. I’m even a tad more social. Now when I think to myself I should verbalize my love or thanks to someone I do it. Less filtered Shantel is not so bad.

Eli’s 7 week Check In
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Napping in our bed- Ohhhhh yeaaaa………………….Napping in his crib- Ohhhhh noooo!
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“Tummy” Time with my friend the Owl
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                  Meeting new friends in my letterman jacket
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This week I’ve been protesting my unfair sleeping conditions. Why do my parents keep sneaking me into a crib while they lounge in a comfy bed? They say it’s for my safety and that I’m getting too big for my bassinet, but I tell them hey, if you’re not budging neither am I. Mom tried out the tummy time mat again. I didn’t give it much of a chance on my belly, but when she flipped me over I was pleased. There’s so much to look at!  I saw owls that rattled and birds that squeaked. My favorite toy was a big ole’ brown owl. I still am rocking my baby mullet, but not by choice. My hair just hasn’t grown much on the top of my head. Hey, mom says she was bald until age 1, so at least I’ve got a little something. I’ve been exercising my legs a bit more. I like to kick all the time and my favorite new thing is to be held like I’m sitting or standing. Got to get fit early. I see how much mom is struggling. Who wants that? 

That’s it for me!
-Shantel

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