We did it! That's what I kept saying after Anias was born, and I still can't believe it. We did have to be induced with citotec and pitocin, but once we got going we really got going.
Our final pictures as a family of 3!
Anias' Birth Story
We were scheduled to begin our induction September 11 at 7pm. That morning we went to church at 8am, grabbed a huge brunch at Cracker Barrel (pumpkin spice pancakes people!), and did a little shopping before naps and packing up the bags.
Eli was hilarious. We finally told him after his nap that we were going to the hospital to get Anias out of mom's belly. He said, "hold on I'll get my shoes" and refused to accept that he would not be going. So little man helped me load up the bags then got in his seat wearing rain boots, a diaper, and a button up shirt. I told him he needed to stay and take care of Papa and Grandma, to which he replied with obvious annoyance, "I'm in my seat!"
After arriving at 6 for paperwork, a check up (I had finally effaced 30% but nothing else), and getting set up in the room they started our citotec at 8pm. Within a half hour I was having contractions every 5 minutes apart but they were very manageable. They added more citotec to our regimen at midnight and gave me a sleeping aid that let me sleep until 4am when the pitocin started. I was able to manage the pain until 6am with pitocin at a 10 and contractions 3 minutes apart before we called in our doula, Katie. Katie asked what our pitocin was at and how I was coping and when we told her she said, "wow! Most people are crying by now."
At 7am we were only at 2 1/4cm, and our OB suggested breaking the water. Katie helped us with positioning and coping imagery from 8 until 9:30, when we went ahead and got my water broken. Pitocin was at 14 now and it was a struggle, but still manageable. I immediately started crying after the breaking of the water, not from pain, but just from the rush of natural oxytocin and I told Josh to get my mom! I don't think she (or I) knew what she was in for.
With Eli I had an epidural which was minimally effective. I could feel and move everything from my feet on up the entire time, but was then constrained to the bed, had a lonnnnnng labor (some people react to epidurals with a slowed labor), and had problems with my blood pressure, heart rate, and Eli's heart rate. Besides that I was in so much pain after the birth we had very little skin to skin and, later, trouble with feeding. AND I felt very disconnected and had a big lack of emotional stability for 1-2 months after. After a couple more experiences with anesthesia, I also realized I was a fast metabolizer and would likely not have future success with an epidural. So- we had planned on trying to do only a narcotic shot with Anias.
After my water was broken things got going fast. By the time mom got here at 11 I was barely making it and needed serious encouragement and distraction. I asked mom to tell me a story to get my mind off of the pain and she told me about someone being on life support. I don't know if that tops dad playing gangster rap during Eli's birth or not! Anyhow, after trying 3 positions we found that being in the shower was really helpful and I went from 2 1/4 to 7cm in 3.5 hours, when our Doctor came to check on our progress at 1pm. I was moaning but using imagery to get through it and started asking for our narcotic shot. Unfortunately, I didn't know you could not have a shot past 6cm.
I really started to freak out! Outside if the shower the pain really intensified and now I had the knowledge no pain relief was coming and I was going through transition. I was yelling "I can't! I can't do this!! I need an epidural!!! This is horrible!" The anesthesiologist came to check in me and she agreed to try (even though I think we all knew I could in no way sit through it), but by the time she was set up in 10 minutes I had already pushed twice without being ready. It was all I knew to do. It had felt better pushing with Eli, but this was not true for Anias. I was straight up, embarrassingly screaming gutteral sounds. Did I mention my mom was still there? Poor mom didn't have the chance to leave even if she wanted to.
I would not recommend it. And- of course the epidural was impossible. The nurse said she had to check me and I had fully transitioned and was crowning all within those 10 minutes. The only way I could somewhat calm myself was by yelling "the doctor is coming", "We're all ok", "relax" and "we're almost done." I say somewhat because honestly I was freaking the heck out. I don't remember Doctor Bellardo coming in, but Josh said he was practically running when he got there. They told me he was there so I just started pushing and yelling "I need a break!" I think everyone was like "girl there is no break get it together" in their head, but Doctor Bellardo was so calm he just gave me permission to (which if course, I couldn't). His demeanor helped me push on through and in 2 pushes Anias was there. I remember asking if he was out, but once he was all the way out I felt so much relief! I could only see 4 fingers in one hand because he had his thumb tucked in and so I asked if he had 5 fingers, and Katie said "he has 10". Ha!
Afterwards they put him skin to skin and it was the best. He was so beautiful and calm and alert! I was in complete shock that he was here, that I had done it (even unwillingly at the end). He's an 8lb 13oz black haired baby boy! Other funny things that happened
Our final pictures as a family of 3!
Anias' Birth Story
We were scheduled to begin our induction September 11 at 7pm. That morning we went to church at 8am, grabbed a huge brunch at Cracker Barrel (pumpkin spice pancakes people!), and did a little shopping before naps and packing up the bags.
Eli was hilarious. We finally told him after his nap that we were going to the hospital to get Anias out of mom's belly. He said, "hold on I'll get my shoes" and refused to accept that he would not be going. So little man helped me load up the bags then got in his seat wearing rain boots, a diaper, and a button up shirt. I told him he needed to stay and take care of Papa and Grandma, to which he replied with obvious annoyance, "I'm in my seat!"
After arriving at 6 for paperwork, a check up (I had finally effaced 30% but nothing else), and getting set up in the room they started our citotec at 8pm. Within a half hour I was having contractions every 5 minutes apart but they were very manageable. They added more citotec to our regimen at midnight and gave me a sleeping aid that let me sleep until 4am when the pitocin started. I was able to manage the pain until 6am with pitocin at a 10 and contractions 3 minutes apart before we called in our doula, Katie. Katie asked what our pitocin was at and how I was coping and when we told her she said, "wow! Most people are crying by now."
At 7am we were only at 2 1/4cm, and our OB suggested breaking the water. Katie helped us with positioning and coping imagery from 8 until 9:30, when we went ahead and got my water broken. Pitocin was at 14 now and it was a struggle, but still manageable. I immediately started crying after the breaking of the water, not from pain, but just from the rush of natural oxytocin and I told Josh to get my mom! I don't think she (or I) knew what she was in for.
With Eli I had an epidural which was minimally effective. I could feel and move everything from my feet on up the entire time, but was then constrained to the bed, had a lonnnnnng labor (some people react to epidurals with a slowed labor), and had problems with my blood pressure, heart rate, and Eli's heart rate. Besides that I was in so much pain after the birth we had very little skin to skin and, later, trouble with feeding. AND I felt very disconnected and had a big lack of emotional stability for 1-2 months after. After a couple more experiences with anesthesia, I also realized I was a fast metabolizer and would likely not have future success with an epidural. So- we had planned on trying to do only a narcotic shot with Anias.
After my water was broken things got going fast. By the time mom got here at 11 I was barely making it and needed serious encouragement and distraction. I asked mom to tell me a story to get my mind off of the pain and she told me about someone being on life support. I don't know if that tops dad playing gangster rap during Eli's birth or not! Anyhow, after trying 3 positions we found that being in the shower was really helpful and I went from 2 1/4 to 7cm in 3.5 hours, when our Doctor came to check on our progress at 1pm. I was moaning but using imagery to get through it and started asking for our narcotic shot. Unfortunately, I didn't know you could not have a shot past 6cm.
I really started to freak out! Outside if the shower the pain really intensified and now I had the knowledge no pain relief was coming and I was going through transition. I was yelling "I can't! I can't do this!! I need an epidural!!! This is horrible!" The anesthesiologist came to check in me and she agreed to try (even though I think we all knew I could in no way sit through it), but by the time she was set up in 10 minutes I had already pushed twice without being ready. It was all I knew to do. It had felt better pushing with Eli, but this was not true for Anias. I was straight up, embarrassingly screaming gutteral sounds. Did I mention my mom was still there? Poor mom didn't have the chance to leave even if she wanted to.
I would not recommend it. And- of course the epidural was impossible. The nurse said she had to check me and I had fully transitioned and was crowning all within those 10 minutes. The only way I could somewhat calm myself was by yelling "the doctor is coming", "We're all ok", "relax" and "we're almost done." I say somewhat because honestly I was freaking the heck out. I don't remember Doctor Bellardo coming in, but Josh said he was practically running when he got there. They told me he was there so I just started pushing and yelling "I need a break!" I think everyone was like "girl there is no break get it together" in their head, but Doctor Bellardo was so calm he just gave me permission to (which if course, I couldn't). His demeanor helped me push on through and in 2 pushes Anias was there. I remember asking if he was out, but once he was all the way out I felt so much relief! I could only see 4 fingers in one hand because he had his thumb tucked in and so I asked if he had 5 fingers, and Katie said "he has 10". Ha!
Afterwards they put him skin to skin and it was the best. He was so beautiful and calm and alert! I was in complete shock that he was here, that I had done it (even unwillingly at the end). He's an 8lb 13oz black haired baby boy! Other funny things that happened
- Yelling "this was a bad choice! This was a very bad choice" during transition (I meant no pain meds)
- Having Katie ask what I wanted to make me feel better and saying I wanted Josh off of his phone (sorry babe! And family that we didn't tell until after he was already born)
- Mom looking at Josh and him having a silent scream face from me holding his hand too tightly- the more he pulled away the harder I held on
- Being told Anias had black hair and me stopping mid push to say "oh I knew he would" calmly, then going back to grimacing
- Being told to look at Josh and asking why I had to look at him 😬 Hey- I just wanted to escape
- Dad telling Eli that Anias was born and Eli responding "That's cool!"
- Getting so mad other people on the floor were flushing the toilet and stopping the good water pressure
So I said I wouldn't recommend an induced, no pain-management birth...it was really the worst pain I can imagine. But, I will say I could move around, it was much faster, I didn't need oxygen and I tore less so there is that! Plus I bonded more easily and Anias seems to be very healthy and calm. Just go in knowing not everyone is at total peace and yogic calm and it's still ok. You can lose your mind and still do it.
Eli
I am so excited to be a big brother! I ran outside and pushed mom aside to bring Anias into the house. I wanted to do it by myself, but dad insisted on helping me. I patted his arm and tried to give him toys and a binkie. I even tried to share my beloved B. Woofer guitar with him. I entertain mom and Anias during his feedings and see if I can fit in his crib. Grandma put a shirt on me that she didn't know I designated for church and I said, "church today? okay." I complimented mommy on her dress and told her she's so cute. I had gas and said excuse me and mom asked if my tummy felt better. I said, yes. Gas fills me up all the way to the top.
Eli
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