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52 Lessons from the first year of motherhood

This is a mash-up of my ‘must-have’s’ for baby’s first year plus advice I wish I would’ve had (or listened to!). So hold on to your horses! Let’s go.

Birthing
birthing
Pandora, heating pad, massage ball (like this one, but it vibrated too)

1. Hold off on the epidural until you seriously need it. Don’t risk the chance of using up your tolerance toward the meds when you’re only “uncomfortable”
2. Try music. I don’t care if it sounds cheesy, it works. We also used a massage ball and heating pad (which, by the way, they make you get rid of once you have the epidural) for pain relief, but what helped the most- see #3.
3. Have your mom there! She helped me through transition like Josh couldn’t, because she had been there and knew where it would hurt. This was particularly helpful when I was in so much pain I couldn’t speak. She knew- and she helped.
4. Don’t worry about other people. I tend to be very empathetic towards others and spent a lot of my labor worrying about others (What if Josh passes out from seeing the blood!? and other thoughts I think are a bit too personal). Don’t worry- you’ve got enough on your plate.
5. I would’ve passed on bringing the nursing staff favors. I know it’s polite and all, but I was seriously worried about baking, bringing cookies, etc. when I should’ve been, I don’t know, not crying over my water breaking.
6. Every mom thinks, “I can’t do this!” or “maybe this all was a mistake”. It’s not. It might feel like it when you’re in excruciating pain, but it’s not.

Post-Partum
postp
New Mama Spray, Cute nursing scarf, nursing tanks

7. Enjoy your baby! I wish Josh and I would’ve spent more time with Eli right after he was born. I knew there were a slew of people in the waiting room itching to hold him, so I pretty much played “pass the baby” right after. Don’t do it. Enjoy your baby, because when they take him to get all cleaned up and checked in you might not see him for a while.
8. Don’t be afraid to ask people to leave. I remember making Eli wait to eat because some of our very lovely visitors had just arrived and I didn’t want to be rude. I wish I would’ve met his need. I seriously still regret it.
9. Don’t introduce a pacifier too soon. We introduced it day two. This was way too soon! My body needed more cues that it needed to produce milk. Poor Eli.
10. They won’t let you shower right after birth. You will be gross but…
11. No one cares what you look like. You have an excuse to look terrible. Live it up.
12. Take the pain meds! They help so much.
13. I would absolutely recommend nursing pajamas post birth. I brought button downs because I thought they would be the same, but you can’t downplay the ease of nursing clothing. You actually are more covered up with nursing clothing. Just trust me on this one. By the way…
14. You don’t want the pull-down nursing clothes. You want the clip kind (with a little room for your swollen tummy)

Diapering
diapering
Target Diapers, Ubi, Easily accessible supplies, Scentsy spray

15. Buy the Target diapers and overnight diapers. They are so worth it!
16. When you transition to solids, have some Scentsy spray at the ready

Feeding
feeding
Washable nursing pads, extra parts, micro-steam bags, Dr. Brown’s bottles, Dr. Brown’s bottle brush, Boon Lawn, Squeezable pouches, high chair, these spoons, boppy, Lasinoh storage bags, puffs, soft-straw sippies

17. If you and your baby have a tough go at nursing, keep trying- even if it’s months later. I thought exclusively pumping was manageable, but it is so much easier to nurse. On the other hand…
18. Do pump a bit if you can. Having Josh take one feeding a night got me so much more sleep! If you do this though- get a hands-free bra and a bottle warmer! The saved time is essential and cold milk can cause gas.
19. Things that helped my supply- oatmeal with flax seed & Brewers yeast, Gatorade
20. It’s okay to supplement. I know “breast is best” but having a baby that is well fed and healthy is even better. You know what you can manage and what your baby needs.
21. Your baby, at some point in time, might throw off your nursing cover and unlatch. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
22. I know it’s gross to nurse in a bathroom, but it’s not so bad nursing in a changing room. Most people are really nice about it.

Sleeping
sleeping
Swaddle wraps, noise maker, door silencer, rocker, Dr. Seuss books, zip sleepers

Take this with a grain of salt- Eli still hasn’t slept through the night!

23. I wish I didn’t wake him every 2.5 hours to eat for the first 12 weeks. This was at the advice of fellow exclusive pumpers to keep my supply up. I think I would’ve rather overcome supply issues and gotten more sleep.
24. Develop a routine
25. Don’t be afraid to ‘circuit’. Try nursing, walking, giving baby a bath, rocking, singing, reading a story, bouncing, etc. Just have a set plan and do it, then do it again. Eli liked me to go up and down the stairs very quickly while telling him everyone who loved him. Odd, but it worked.

Bathing
bathing
Aveno baby wash & lotion, Shape matching toy, squeeze toys, hooded towels, baby tub with sling, non-slip mat

26. You don’t need knee savers, but you do need bath toy storage

Peace of Mind/Safety
safety
Exergen temporal thermometer, Angel Care, video monitor, magnetic locks, TV straps, Itz Been (if you’ll be away) or Eat. Sleep App

27. Get a good thermometer!
28. If you get an Angel Care- it might give you a lot of false alarms. I still think it’s worth it. It helps to turn up the sensitivity as well!

Comfort & Teething
teething
Grape teether, raspberry, banana toothbrush, Hyland’’s Teething Tablets, New Parent Survival Kit, Nose Frida, Snug-a-Bunny swing, Soothies, humidifier

29. Learn how to help your baby get rid of gas. I feel like this is even more helpful than gas drops

Toys
toys
Jumperoo, play mat, stuffed animals, books, walker, car, rattle, stackers

Travel
travelk
convertible car seat, iPad holder with Baby Einstein in it, mirror, car seat toy, car seat blanket, dry bag, jogging stroller

30. Try throwing a fuzzy blanket over socked feet to help your baby not pull off his socks while in the car.
31. When possible, transition to the convertible car seat (facing backwards). Eli really does much better in cars now.
32. Always bring 2 (3 if they’re sick) changes of clothes for your little one.

Other Notes
other
Pacifier wipes and lanyard, camera, belly bandit, ergo carrier, Babyproofing your marriage

33. If you have dogs, you may find that one day your sweet precious baby has a dog hair in their eye. Don’t touch it! Josh and I used saline to flush it out.
34. Our doc always reiterates that we should steam Eli’s pacifiers daily. Keep those suckers clean!
35. Try to get a good camera. You’ll want something a little better than iPhone photos. Better yet, film what you can. I wish we would’ve videoed more of his life so far. Another note- just because you were gifted 6 baby books doesn’t mean you have to fill them all out.
36. On the other hand, do document at least some of it- with words and images. You’ll forget more than you think.
37. You might cry when you go back to work- this is normal and doesn’t mean you “shouldn’t” be working. That  being said, it doesn’t mean you “should” either. There will be people who look down on you either way, but you have to live with your life decisions.
38. Freeze as many meals as you can pre-birth! Even if people are bringing you food, becoming a parent is a big change and it’s great to have that area of your life taken care of.
39. When people visit, take advantage of it. I wish I would’ve napped while people visited- or asked them to do a load of laundry or vacuum.
40. Sign up for the Imagination Library.
41. Keep aside some money for transition clothing. Have confidence that you will get back to your original size, but don’t punish yourself by having only maternity clothing until you get to that point. You will feel frumpy. The Belly bandit actually helped too, but it was painful to use until about 2 months post-partum. By the way…
42. Buy two sizes of the Belly Bandit if you go that route.
43. Exercise if you have time. It sucks and you’ll think “I should be sleeping”, but just do a little. It will help with energy and confidence.
44. Get a good carrier, one that you know won’t hurt your babe’s hips
45. Buy free & clear detergent and lots of socks!
46. You will need storage if you want to have more children. They seem to have sales right after Christmas on tubs and such.
47. Hand-me-downs are gold. We were given my nephew’s hand-me-downs which he got from other people as well. We saved so much money this way and it alleviated any potential guilt for buying some more expensive pieces. Also- check Essex for big purchases. We got our stroller and baby swing there at a great discount. I would say check the Buy/Sell/Trade sites too.
48. You might resent your spouse. You’ll be tired, they’ll be tired, life will not be the same. Yes, you will have this amazing, wonderful little person, but it will be hard. I read Babyproof Your Marriage, which helped me not feel so alone. Try to remember that life for your spouse is different now too.
49. Try to do something for your marriage- like set up weekly dates. We are doing terribly at this, but when we do go it helps.
50. Try to do something for yourself. I live for my brunches, pedicures, and nightly reading time.
51. Come up with rules for you and your spouse in relation to caring for this baby. For us- it was that neither of us would spend more than an hour awake with Eli in the middle of the night. We also alternate waking early with him (5am!) and alternate dirty diapers when Josh is home.
52. Let go of as many annoyances as you can. People will give your child ridiculous nicknames, you will get ill advice, you will have grouchy old men in the grocery store tell you to smile. It’s okay! It only seems extra annoying because life is a little stressful right now. Give it time, find the closest drive-through Starbucks you can and go on an outing. Bonus points if you can make it by yourself.

What about you? What was your favorite product? Something you wish you would have known?

That’s it for me! I’ll be back next week with Eli’s birthday and birthday party pictures then we’re going to play it by ear. Winking smile

-Shantel

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