It’s the final countdown

Be warned- this is very content heavy.

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a great time bringing in the new year. For so many people January 1st marks a day of hope, of potential, and of change. I stopped making new year’s resolutions a few year ago I believe, not because I don’t see the benefit in that, but because I know I’m more likely to fail if I set strict ‘resolutions’. Instead I decide to focus more on my values than goals, per se. This year- I’d really like to be more present and watch what I say.

Sometimes I feel like this is truly the world we are living in…

I want to remember my life, my real life- not my digital life. This concept of being more present also addresses my tendency to be impatient and/or anxious. I waste so much time and energy trying to make things happen now, instead of appreciating the now. As Henry David Thoreau would say, “Why should we live with such hurry and waste life? We are determined to be starved before we are hungry” (Walden). 

Or James 4:13-15
¹³ Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Or, regarding anxiety Matthew 6:25-34

25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

So what does this mean in action? I’d like to have faith that things will work out how they are meant to work out, that I don’t have to stress about the future (plan yes, stress, no).  I’d like to sit down to dinner and not watch television while we eat. I’d like to spend more time conversing with Josh. I’d like to (and have been trying to) appreciate that this moment is a gift that will never be here again. I will never again be 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant with Eli. I may never again feel him kick the hot water when I take a shower. I want to appreciate life instead of gripe about it. I have so much to be thankful for. After all, as I like to say, you find what you’re looking for (kind of stolen from the idea of seek & you shall find/you reap what you sow).

Regarding speech, I just finished reading The Tao of Pooh and this portion really stuck with me…

“There is the curious notion that freedom is somehow synonymous with gutter jargon…

The debasement of language not only reflects but produces a retreat from civility. The slightest disagreement has become an occasion for violent reactions. Television has educated an entire generation of Americans to believe that the normal way of reacting to a slight is by punching someone in the face.”- Norman Cousins 

I feel like this theme of graciousness and humbleness has really been tugging at my heart lately. Speak Life, anyone? I have many opinions, but I find sometimes it’s best to keep them to myself. As pastor Pete would say, are you going to build a case or build a bridge? I want to be love in action, but I also want to speak love. It’s very hard sometimes not to get defensive, but before speaking I want to consider how my response will effect my relationship with that person and how it will effect the big picture. Does it matter big picture/long term what other people think of me? Not really. It matters what I think of me, and I want to look back on my life and see dignity, even in the face of criticism. That being said, I stand up for others when they are targeted, so I should have enough self-respect to stand  up for myself. Some balance needs to be found. Pick your battles perhaps.

Now, for the week 39 Check In

Eli’s Size: He should be about 7 1/2 lbs and around the size of a watermelon
Cravings: Pork rinds, lemon flavored anything
Side effects: heartburn, hip pain, itching, numb hands, Braxton Hicks, cramps, nausea, sickness, irritability, stretch marks, pain in general 
Belly button in or out? Out.
Thing I miss? Feeling comfortable, being able to sit still for an entire movie, having adult conversation (Josh went back to work this week), wearing clothes that look nice on me
What I’ve tried to ease him along: Walking, stair climbing, squats, pineapple, Red Raspberry Tea Leaf extract, Evening Primrose Oil, spicy food, Chinese food, foot massages. I’m going to try mineral oil before we do an official induction.
Most awkward moment? Being unable to get around my shopping cart when in the check-out aisle. It took some maneuvering!
Best moment? Sleeping 10 hrs last night or just hanging out talking to Josh’s friends at a New Year’s party.
What we bought: Some warm clothes to take him on walks. It’s hard to find little jackets here in TN, which is kind of crazy since it’s been very cold with some snow. It supposedly is going to snow both Monday and Tuesday this week. This little $4 Old Navy tiger jacket hopefully will work with a blanket.Gratuitous picture of Optimus, as he was looking at me just like that the whole time I was in Eli’s room. I think he knows. Also, I made Josh a new daddy gift, but I won't show you as he reads these blogs too. It was inspired by this. No cheating Joshua!

Any progress? I’m not sure! I feel like there has been, but I won’t go into details. I had two days this week where I had Braxton Hicks all day, off and on. I was hoping he was on his way then, but the last day like that was the 31st.

I’m off! I think I’ll try to talk Josh into going to Pharmacy Burger, since I’ve never been. Have a wonderful weekend and wish us luck! This may be my last post before baby boy is here.

-Shantel